In my freshman year of high school I decided to try out for the varsity soccer team. It was a lofty goal but I felt that I was good enough to compete at that level. By the time I reached high school, soccer was not necessarily the biggest thing in my life anymore. I had discovered girls and my attention was drawn away from soccer. I met a beautiful girl my freshman year and we wound up dating all four years of high school. Even though soccer was not my main focus anymore, I was certain I was going to make the varsity soccer team. Hoch & Kunreuther (2001) wrote “There is now a growing body of evidence that affect and emotions play an important role in people's decision processes for choices when there are uncertain outcomes" (p. 269). I was so full of confidence going into try outs. What happened was a disaster. I had probably one of the worst practices in my life. I struggled through most of the drills and just wasn't myself. I was embarrassed by my performance. In retrospect, I was not prepared. I was super nervous, anxious, and a little intimidated by the varsity players. I failed to make the team. I was devastated. Edmondson (2011) wrote "Failure and fault are virtually inseparable in most households, organizations, and cultures. Every child learns at some point that admitting failure means taking the blame. That is why so few organizations have shifted to a culture of psychological safety in which the rewards of learning from failure can be fully realized" (para. 3). I did however learn from my failure. The most important thing I took away from this experience was that it wasn't the end for me. The JV coaches were at the varsity tryouts and even though I didn't make the varsity roster I was asked to join the JV team. I ended up being the team co-captain and went on to have one of my most memorable high school years. It's like the saying goes, "When one door closes, another one opens". Initially I was devastated by not making the varsity team. Then I was elated to still play as part of the JV team. I felt validated by the experience because I was still able to do what I loved and at a high level. I really feel that if I would have had the same passion for soccer when I reached high school as I did when I first started, I could have had a professional career. To this day I love the sport and have passed that love to my son. I hope that if it's is his path, it will bring him as much joy.
When I joined ERAU I was hired on as an online advisor. Helping others has always been important to me and this role fit me perfectly. My team was great and I could not have asked for better people to work with. For a little over two years I worked in this position but over time the unreasonable demands that were placed on us took its toll on me and my team. I decide to apply for another position within the university. It was not an easy decision to come to. I felt like I was abandoning my team. I also felt like I would be letting them down if I left. I felt a lot of emotions. One of them was uncertainty. I didn't know if I would even get an interview. After considerable soul searching, speaking with my wife, and my mentor, I decided to apply. Once I applied I asked to meet with my director. She was stunned to hear that I was considering leaving. I explained to her that I felt this new position would benefit not only me personally but my family as well. I wasn't completely honest with her about my intentions because I was uncertain about what would happen (with the potential position) but I felt she deserved to know where I stood. She understood and respected the fact that I approached her to let her know what was going on.
I didn't have any experience in instructional design but then again I didn't have any experience in academic advising either. Or as a paralegal before I began working for ERAU. What did I have to lose? I had no clue whether or not I would be asked to interview. It seemed like forever before I heard back about my application. Still uncertain I would get the job, I did what I do best. I researched, practiced interviewing, and presented myself the best way I could. I focused on being me and it worked. I was offered the position in which I am in currently. I have never been afraid to take risks. Sometimes I haven't made the wisest decisions but we all learn from our experiences and mistakes. Zeilinger (2013) wrote "We tend to view risk-taking negatively, often regarding it as dangerous and even unwise. But while some risks certainly don't pay off, it's important to remember that some do" (para. 4). I felt a gambit of emotions going into this experience. Nervousness, doubt, guilt, excitement. I was fortunate enough to get some really good advice from one of the team members I confided in. She said "Everyone here has the same opportunity. You are the only one willing to take it. Don't feel bad about doing something that could benefit you and your family". It was nice to hear and helped me get to where I am today. Decisions are not always easy to make but are also unavoidable. How we choose to make those and how we reach our conclusions determine how successful we can be. Failure is not always the end. Sometimes it is just the beginning.
Edmondson, A. (2011). Strategies for Learning from Failure. Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2011/04/strategies-for-learning-from-failure
Hoch, S. J., & Kunreuther, H. C. (2005). Wharton on making decisions. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons Inc.
Zeilinger, J. (2013). 7 Reasons Why Risk-Taking Leads To Success. Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/13/seven-reasons-why-risk-taking-leads-to-success_n_3749425.html