Benjamin Franklin tried to live his life by 13 virtues. I took an online test to determine how my own
virtues match up with Franklin’s. I will
be reflect on the following virtues: temperance, resolution, and tranquility. These are the areas the quiz suggested I
focus on improving. http://www.pbs.org/benfranklin/exp_virtue_results.html?a=144143344424
The first virtue is temperance or self-restraint. The scenario was based on the over indulgence
of alcohol. These days I seldomly drink
but when I do, I have been known to have a good time. I can go out and have one or two beers and be
responsible. For me this is not a choice
rather a responsibility I own as a parent and a husband. I will admit, in my younger days I was pretty
wild. I lived the bachelor lifestyle to
the fullest. I lived in downtown Orlando
and I could be found in a local club, bar, or pub at least 4-5 nights a
week. Why? Did I mention I was single at the time? I was having the time of my life surrounded
by friends and strangers. I would not
change that time in my life for anything.
I was living life to the fullest.
I was living my life. The person
I was ten years ago is not the same person I am today. Today’s Brian is concerned with saving for
his son’s college tuition, paying his mortgage, and planning for retirement. Now I think about the future but not just
mine. I have a family now that depends
on me for support. Not just financial
but emotional as well. I still have the
same values and beliefs today that I had a decade ago however I am more in tune
with them now than at any other time in my life. A study was conducted to determine if
self-disciplined people were happier. Szalavitz (2013) wrote “Through a series of
tests — including one that assessed 414 middle-aged participants on
self-control and asked them about their life satisfaction both currently and in
the past — and another that randomly queried volunteers on their smartphones
about their mood and any desires they might be experiencing, the researchers
found a strong connection between higher levels of self-control and life
satisfaction” (para. 3).
The second virtue I “scored”
low on is resolution. I really had no
best way to answer this question which I’m sure is why it came up as a virtue
to improve. The reason is because I do
not make resolutions. In the past I did
but then I became that person that made resolutions and never followed through
with them. What I do now is constantly
set goals for myself. I do this all
through the year. So instead of focusing
on just one thing which I may or may not dedicate myself to at one time of the
year, I set many goals and spread them out in order to achieve them. For me personally, I have found this to be a
more successful method. For
example. We just purchased our first
home. To do this I had to accomplish
many different goals and it took five years to accomplish them all! First I took a look at my financial situation
and came up with a plan for debt reduction (my wife and I that is). We took every single credit card and one by
one systematically paid them off. We
also established a saving plan to have money for a down payment. On the weekends I would drive to different
neighborhoods to look at houses and talk with home owners about the
neighborhoods. I would ask about their
experience with the builder, how they liked their homes, and if they had a good
experience through the building process.
I never told my wife but for inspiration when I went on my bike rides I
would go to neighborhoods that were well out of our price range and look at all
of these beautiful homes and dream about the day I could move my family into
one (not as fancy as the ones I would ride by).
Goodman (2014) wrote “When we set goals, it’s easy to fixate on that
magical ending when we’ve reached the goal and everything is better. But we
can’t control outcomes, and we certainly can’t will them into existence (though
this writer has tried, many times). We have to inch toward them, one choice at
a time” (para. 5). Goal setting has
become an integral part of my success and is a practice I am glad to have
begun. It has helped me accomplish many
things.
The final virtue is
one I struggle with. Tranquility. I am the complete opposite of my wife in this
aspect. I can be considered a little
OCD. If a dish is left in the sink it
drives me crazy. My closet is always
immaculate and I am take great pride in the things I own. I am beginning to learn that it is okay if
dishes are left in the sink. It is okay
for my son not to pick up every single one of his toys to put away. And when he strips down to his undies (he is
3 of course) to run around the house, I don’t have to chase him down to pick up
his clothes behind him. It’s okay. For me this has been a real struggle because
of how my mind is wired. Why wait to do
something tomorrow that can be done today?
I am having to retrain my thought process and tell myself that I really
should not let these small things worry me.
I should be focusing my energy on other things. Sasson (n.d.) wrote “True inner peace is
independent of external conditions and circumstances. It confers tranquility,
inner harmony and balance, and the ability to remain calm, undisturbed, and in
control of yourself, even in difficult and unpleasant situations. It is
important not only while things move smoothly, but especially, in times of
trouble, difficulties or danger. Then it counts most” (para. 3). While it has been a struggle for me to find
inner peace with certain things, I am finally in a place where I can be honest
with myself and say “Why are you letting that bother you?” I have the ability to change and become more
at peace with the things I cannot control.
In retrospect this issue for me is more about control and the things I
can and can’t command. I must be more
willing to accept that I can’t have everything my way and it is unrealistic for
others to think the same way as I do. By
doing this, finding that inner peace, I think I can become more successful not
just in my work but overall in my life.
Goodman, N. (2014).
The science of setting goals. Retrieved from http://ideas.ted.com/the-science-of-setting-goals/
Sasson, R. (n.d.).
20 Reasons Why You Need Inner Peace and Tranquility. Retrieved from http://www.successconsciousness.com/inner_peace.htm
Szalavitz, M. (2013).
Self-Disciplined People Are Happier (and Not as Deprived as You Think) | TIME.com.
Retrieved from http://healthland.time.com/2013/06/24/self-disciplined-people-are-happier-and-not-as-deprived-as-you-think/
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