A632.7.4.RB_DiazBrian

My first assignment as an instructional designer presented many challenges.  As an instructional designer it is important for me to be able to effectively collaborate with others in order to reach our goals.  The first two weeks I spent in IDD I trained with a senior designer.  I participated in classroom training meetings and I did a considerable amount of research on innovative ways to present content in the online learning environment.  This was a build up for me to work with my first developer. 

Once I received my first assignment I was very excited to work with my developer.  I reached out to him and we got to know each other a bit.  We talked about our expectations, goals, and commitment to completing this project together.  As part of designing courses, part of my job is making recommendations and suggestions.  I communicated changes to my developer and he refused them all.  I didn’t give any push back because he was the subject matter expert.  I took his feedback and continued building our course.  However, a pattern began to emerge.  Every recommendation and suggestion I made was met with resistance.  I was uncertain how to move forward with this developer because he was not interested in collaborating.  It was his way or no way.  I had to decide what to do.  I felt strongly that some of the changes I had requested were in the best interest of the course.  DeGraff (n.d.) wrote “The benefits to joint innovation efforts are plenty: the global scale of the initiative, the rapidity of experimentation, the reservoirs of outside talent, the guaranteed wider array of solutions.

But with each of these upsides also comes a downside: the chaos of implementation, the disruptive power of clients, the difficulty of serving solutions, the uncertainty of constantly changing course” (para. 2-3).  This collaboration was coming unraveled and I had to determine how to proceed.

The first thing I did was involve my senior designer.  I had her look at the suggestions I made for our developer and asked what her thoughts were on each.  I felt that she could offer some suggestions to better communicate with this developer.  I didn’t want to overstep and I didn’t want to offend this person either.  My senior designer looked at the revisions I requested and felt they were valid.  I shared the email chain between the developer and myself with her.  The language in his responses were a bit harsh.  It didn’t leave any grey area for tone, he made his thoughts known clearly about my suggestions.

My senior designer felt it was best to involve our director.  Our director felt this situation warranted the attention of our senior director (who is the highest level in our department).  Under his guidance he recommended that we let the College determine what the next step was going to be.  He recommended that an academic review be requested for the content that was completed so far.  I was advised that another of our team members was having the same experience with this individual.  I requested a review of the course from the Program Chair.  A few days later she returned her edits.  A majority of the recommendations I had made (and then some) were in her review.  She directed the developer to make the changes as she had outlined.  The developer flat out refused.  The Department Chair stepped in and the developer’s refusal to collaborate became an HR issue.  Strauss (2013) wrote “It is important to note that research in other institutional settings has also shown that high degrees of collaboration focused on responding to problems identified by data produces improved outcomes, such as higher productivity and better quality output” (para. 16).  I involved all levels of my team to help me with this issue.  I made the decision in the best interest of the work I was attempting to do.  In my quest to resolve this issue I collaborated with others in an effort to move the course design along.  Reaching out to the various stakeholders did the following:

• It established that an issue was preventing the best possible product.
• It showed that I was not willing to compromise the content of the course I was designing.
• It showed me that I could rely on my team.
• It gave me different perspectives to approach this issue from.
•  I was able to gain knowledge from different stakeholders that had shred similar experiences in their careers.

After HR conducted their investigation, it was decided by the university to let the developer go.  He had become increasingly hostile over the last few months to a majority of his peers and it seems his unwillingness to work collaboratively with myself and others became his undoing.  I feel that I did a good job of involving my team the way I was supposed to.  Instead of going directly to the Department Chair, I went to my superior and along the ranks until the issue was resolved.  Three things I learned from this experience were:

• It’s better to keep others involved from the beginning rather than wait for a problem to occur.  Now, when I start a new collaboration I advise the developer that all communication are done transparently and both my senior developer and director are going to be CC’d on all emails.
•  Giving others the benefit of the doubt is conducive to collaborations however there is no certainty that others will behave in the manner they prescribe.  I feel like I was fooled a little by my developer.  Face to face he was cordial and polite.  However, if you would have read his emails you would have thought differently.  Relationships are crucial to collaborations but they definitely take time to establish.
• Trust your instincts.  The developer’s refusal to work with me was a red flag but I wanted to believe he was going to live to his end of the bargain.  I should have anticipated sooner that his reluctance to collaborate would have such a negative impact on our working relationship.  It ultimately pushed back the production of the course.

DeGraff, J. (n.d.). The Good, the Bad, and the Future of Creative Collaboration. Retrieved from http://www.inc.com/jeff-degraff/collaborative-innovation-the-good-the-bad-and-the-future.html

Strauss, V. (2013). Why collaboration is vital to creating effective schools. Retrieved from https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/wp/2013/05/02/why-collaboration-is-vital-to-creating-effective-schools/   

A632.6.3.RB_DiazBrian

I am thankful to have really amazing parents.  Growing up I’ve had the misfortune of seeing friends of mine struggle with the realities of divorce.  Three years ago my wife and I were blessed with our first child.  Caiden was my parents’ first grandchild.  They were over the moon in love with him from day one.  Just before my son was born we had moved from Orlando to be closer to our families.  Caiden decided to come early and my wife actually went into labor the weekend we moved.  When we brought Caiden home we were still in boxes.  I love my mom to death and we are very fortunate to have all of the grandparents in our lives but my mom could not understand why she could not see Caiden every single day from the time we got home.  My wife was in labor for almost 24 hours.  We had to stay in the hospital an extra day because Caiden was four weeks early and weighed just a hair over five pounds.  Needless to say when we returned home we were exhausted.  All we wanted to do was “nest” and get some rest (as much as possible with a newborn).  As soon as we got home my started asking when would be a good time for her and my dad to visit.  I explained to her that we were exhausted and needed rest.  She couldn’t understand why she couldn’t see her new grandson and this caused conflict between us.

Looking back, there was plenty I could have done to ease the tension or to resolve this conflict.  My first mistake was not developing an attitude of resolution (Levine, 2009).  I brushed aside my mother’s feelings without an explanation and she became upset.  In her mind, we were keeping her grandson away from her when in actuality, we were just exhausted and needed time to bond with our son. 

If only I would have told my mom our story (Levine, 2009) we could have avoided this conflict.  One of the factors that played into this conflict was the difference in cultures between my family and my wife’s.  Spanish families are very involved when a baby is born.  It’s not uncommon for family members to come over once you’ve returned home from the hospital to cook meals, help with chores, and to make sure that everything is being taken care of.  My wife is not Spanish.  My wife and I were on the same page when it came down to our families visiting.  We wanted to be alone so we could experience this new beginning together.  We are all about spending time with our families but we also wanted that first week alone with our son.  Had I communicated this better with my mom, I think I could have avoided hurting her feelings.

Levine (2009) wrote “The third step is to listen and think about a resolution that honors all concerns in the situation” (p. 41).  I could have said to my mom “We are really tired and just need a few days to get adjusted to Caiden’s schedule.  We would love for you to visit and spend time with us but give us a few days and I we’ll let you know how we are doing.  It would be great if you could visit in a few days and maybe bring over some food.”  My mother to lives to cook for others.  Growing up my friends would come over for every holiday, 4^th of July, Thanksgiving, Christmas.  My mom would cook a feast.  Everyone loved her cooking.  I think doing that makes her feel needed.  Communicating to my mom that we really could use her help but just not immediately might have kept us from having this conflict. 

Next, I should have laid out all our cards on the table with my mom.  I should have told her that Candi’s family had not asked to visit us at all.  She was the only one.  Everyone else was respecting our privacy.  I think it would have been a good idea for my wife and I to have made our intentions clear to our families from the get go.  Stewart (n.d.) wrote “It's perfectly okay to be selfish about placing the needs of your nuclear family first and making others wait, Dr. Mittal says. Plus, there are more ways eager pals can help: Say yes to their homemade soups; let them walk the dog or drop off groceries and take a quick baby peek” (para.6).  Had we been upfront about our needs we could have avoided conflict with my mom.

I did explain to my mom that after a few days she could visit (although this wasn’t what she wanted to hear).  I tried my best to put into place a future agreement in principle (Levine, 2009).  As a new dad (particularly with my wife feeding) I felt a little helpless.  It was my wife that needed to wake up every three hours to feed our son.  I felt bad I couldn’t do more.  After speaking with my wife we agreed to a schedule for our families.  On one day my parents would visit and the next day her parents would visit.  Then we would have a few days to ourselves and so on.  The schedule made it to where everyone got equal time and no one would get their feelings hurt.  I think it was easier for my wife’s family because there were already a number of grandkids on their side.  Crafting this new agreement, and sticking to the schedule would have greatly alleviated the conflict between my mother and us.

In the end my mom understood we were not coming from a malicious place and the time we asked for was what we needed.  I made it clear to her that we were not trying to keep her from seeing her grandson and at the same time that we had not had any other visitors.  I think she felt that we were singleing her out.  I explained that was not the case at all and she would have more than ample time to visit with her grandson.  To say she is obsessed with Caiden would be an understatement.  We were blessed to have my mom babysit Caiden when we went back to work for his first two years.  After that we placed him in daycare and my mom decided she no longer wanted to be retired.  At first she had us Facetime them every single day but it was a bit much.  Now grandma and grandpa see him every other day and we make plans to visit no less than twice a month. 

Having a conflict resolution plan is necessary in order to work through issues.  Heitler (2012) wrote “Conflict resolution is the process of trying to find a solution to a conflict.  Ideally conflict resolution is collaborative problem-solving, a cooperative talking-together process that leads to choosing a plan of action that both of you can feel good about” (para. 5).  More often than not conflict arises from not hearing what the other person is saying or when there is a misunderstanding.  Using the seven steps of resolution allows us to analyze the what and how to resolve conflicts.  This model will allow us to reach amicable agreements for the benefit of each party while the deescalating the conflict issue any further.  Today everyone is in a happy place and everyone gets their fill of Caiden. :)

Heitler, S. (2012). What Makes Conflict? How Are Conflicts Resolved? Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201211/what-makes-conflict-how-are-conflicts-resolved 

Levine, S. (2009). Getting to Resolution: Turning Conflict into Collaboration. San Francisco, CA; Berrett-Koehler Publishing Inc.

 

Stewart, R. (n.d.). What to Expect Baby's First Week. Retrieved from http://www.parents.com/baby/care/newborn/what-to-expect-babys-first-week/