A632.5.5.RB_DiazBrian

Values are shaped by our environments.  Our backgrounds, experiences, and cultures dictate which values we will hold dearest to us.  Protected values should be independent of consequences, insensitive to quantity, and applied to acts (Hoch & Kunreuther, 2001).  Our protected values will differ, however the strength of their convictions should be equal.  If there are values that we hold in deep belief we should honor them and stay true to their ideas, positions, or notions.  My three protected values are freedom, kindness, and respect. 

It is my belief that we should all be free.  Free to think as we want, to act as we want, and to make our own decisions about how to live our lives.  Freedom however can be a double-edged sword.  Was James Holmes free to walk into that Aurora movie theater and take the lives of those 12 people?  Are students free to use social media to bully their classmates?  Should mothers be free to have the right to refuse their children medical care because it goes against their religious beliefs?  These are all valid questions.  My freedom, the freedom that I hold steadfastly is different than these examples.  To me, the thought of freedom is an inherent device used as a tool to make the world better.  Steve Jobs was free to imagine and in doing so… he changed the world.  Plato and Socrates were free to share their knowledge which influenced science, politics, and literature.  The actions of the few should not negate the totality of the good propagated by the masses.  

I believe we should be free to love whoever we want regardless of race, gender, or religious beliefs.  Growing up, I never knew anyone that was openly gay until I was about 20.  I worked with this kid at a restaurant and he was openly gay.  Working with him and getting to know him was one of the greatest learning experiences of my life.  It taught me that just because someone is gay does not make them bad.  It doesn’t make them evil.  It just makes them different.  We actually got to be good friends and would go for drinks together after work.  He would tell me the how painful it was for him growing up gay.  How he had to hide it from everyone and that living a lie was hard.  He explained to me how his lifestyle cost him relationships with his family.  He was a tortured soul.  After some time, he confided in me he was HIV positive.  My heart broke for him.  In the late 90’s it was basically a death sentence.  He was always so upbeat though… Thinking about him brings a smile to my face.  He once asked me if I would be willing to give him a ride to get medicine because no one else knew he had AIDS.  I felt honored that he trusted me the way he did.  I think sometimes we forget to remember that we are all human.  We all have feelings.  Freedom in our society has come at a great price.  It was the reason for our civil war.  It was the reason for so much unrest in the 60’s.  We fought then and we continue to fight today for our freedoms.  We should never stop fighting for what we believe in if those beliefs make the world better and cause no harm to others.

 

I grew up in a very traditional Hispanic family.  My mother stayed home and did all of the cooking, cleaning, and laundry.  My father worked and when he got paid he would give my mom his paycheck.  She in turn would pay all the bills, buy the groceries, and make sure we had what we needed.  She would give my dad enough money each week for him to buy cigarettes and put gas in his car.  To this day, they are still in love, (they get on each others nerves more than anything but it’s cute) almost 40 years later.  What I learned from them was to be kind.  Be kind to others regardless of whether you think they deserve it or not.  I try to live my life by the values my parents instilled in me.  I never have understood why some people choose to be mean to others.  It is very disheartening.  I go out of my way to be kind to others.  Especially strangers.  Why shouldn’t I?  Especially when you don’t know someone is when you should be the kindest.  It’s the first impression they will have of you.  Also you don’t know enough about a stranger to determine whether they deserve to be treated unkindly so why do it?  I make the conscious decision to be kind to everyone.  I love the smile it brings to people’s faces when just the simplest gesture of kindness makes their day.  Every day is a new day and we should strive to make it better, not only for ourselves but for everyone we encounter.  Being kind to others is not a value I’m willing to make a trade-off on.  

At a young age I was taught to respect my elders.  My best friend growing up was Italian.  I was able to learn just how important in his culture respect was.  I loved the fact that I was able to learn in my childhood from different cultures because it gave me perspective on life.  I loved to watch the interaction that older people had with each other.  The way they spoke to one another, how they greeted one other.  I found it fascinating.  The lessons that I learned I am trying to teach my son.  We went to an event a few months back and members of the local fire and police departments were there.  I think it’s great for children to look up to athletes or to actors but these are the men and women who actually put their lives on the line day in and day out.  I told my son that these people were heroes, kind of like the ones he knows from his cartoons but only in real life.  I want him to have respect for the job these individuals choose to do.  They deserve it.  Just as do his teachers, grandma and grandpa, and mommy and daddy.  I feel like if more parents were to instill this value the less difficult it would be to raise good hearted, well-meaning children.  If someone wants to be a great leader, respect is a quality they need to possess.  Williams (2013) wrote “Respect must play the most important role in any personal or working relationship. One of our most important statements at our company, Fishbowl, is, ‘I’ve got your back.’ This single phrase carries all of the Non-Negotiables with it” (para. 4).  Respect plays a big role in my life.  I give it to everyone I know just I do with kindness.  I have no right or authority to be disrespectful to others.  It’s just not how I live my life.

 

Kindness and respect come to me as natural protected values.  Freedom became one as I got older.  I’ve learned not to judge others on how they look or who they date.  I opened up my mind.  It wasn’t always the case but I had some valuable teaching lessons in my life that have shaped how I perceive things.  I believe strongly in my convictions.  I believe in treating others right, fairly, and without prejudice.  Being kind and respectful are products of my behavior.  In the past I’ve worked for organizations that didn’t live up to these values and I left.  For me, money is not the number one driving force in my life.  Happiness is.  If I can be happy and help other to be happy, I feel I will have served my purpose in life.  I want my peers to feel that I was respectful and kind.  If that can be my legacy that will be just fine by me.

Hoch, S. J., & Kunreuther, H. C. (2005). Wharton on making decisions. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons Inc.

Williams, D. (2013). Great Leaders Know Respect Is The Keystone Of A Successful Business. Retrieved from http://www.forbes.com/sites/davidkwilliams/2013/05/29/great-leaders-know-respect-is-the-keystone-of-a-successful-business/  

A632.4.5.RB_DiazBrian

Our home purchase was by far the most difficult negotiating experience of my life.  For the last five years my wife and I had been planning the purchase of our first home.  We weighed the pros and cons of buying an existing home versus purchasing a new construction.  We ultimately decided to buy a new construction home.  The first thing I did was research.  Then, I researched some more.  And after that, I researched again!  Being that this would be one the biggest (and one of the most important) decisions we would make in our lives, I wanted us to be as prepared as possible.  I am a big fan of Clark Howard’s financial advice.  I went to his website (and many more) for advice.  Next, I hopped into my car along with my bike and I went to all of the different neighborhoods we were interested in.  I talked to the neighbors.  I asked them what their experiences were like in these neighborhoods, how they liked their builder, and how they enjoyed living in those communities.  I looked at the quality of the neighboring school districts and took into account the locations based on where my wife and I worked.  After about a year of researching builders and communities we settled on one.  That’s is when the fun (insert sarcastic tone) began.

Mike was our sales representative.  He was as lively as they come, with over 20 years of experience in new construction sales.  When I first met him he was very charismatic.  He was confident they could build our dream home and assured me we had the right builder.  We set up a first meeting and my wife and I came in, gave him our budget, and looked at models.  Things actually moved really fast and before long we were under contract.  This is when things took a bad turn.  We had already been to the design studio and picked our finishes, chose our landscaping package, and exterior colors.  The only thing we were waiting on was the building permit to be approved.  Two weeks went by and we touched base with Mike.  “It will be next week”, then another week went by “I haven’t heard yet but we should have it soon” Mike said.  I stopped by the office and confronted Mike.  While we were waiting this whole time two other properties which were sold after ours, began construction.  “Your home is too big to fit on the lot by inches” Mike conceded.  A home must fit inside of a “building envelope” on a property.  Ours did not.  He explained that they had applied for a variance through the city and that was the hold up.  Mike had deceived us this whole time.  Why would he lie to us?  Hoch & Kunreuther (2001) wrote “While the benefits of deception are often apparent, assessing the expected costs of deception is more complicated.  First, a negotiator must estimate the probability that the deception will be detected” (p. 191).  This was Mike’s gamble.  He figured if he could continue to string us along maybe the variance would be issued and he would save his sale.  In the meantime, I thought it would be best for us to have a plan B just in case the city denied our variance.  Mike said no need but I insisted.  We came the following weekend and looked at a new lot on a cul-de-sac.  It came with a premium but I was not going to pay it because they sold us a lot that our house did not fit on.  The song and dance continued with Mike saying they were waiting to hear from the city.  I confronted him again.  It had been a month with no word and we were not happy at the level of service we were getting.  I noticed this time that Mike was very defensive, he avoided eye contact with me, and his voice was shaky.  He said the city would not be granting a variance because if they did it for us they would have to do for everyone.  I was beyond mad for being lied to but we really wanted to live in this neighborhood.  He offered me a pick of three other lots that we were not interested in.  Each came with a premium of $5000 which they were willing to waive.  The cul-de-sac which we wanted came with a $7000 premium and they were not willing to waive the fee on that lot.  I countered and said if they were willing to give us $5K towards a lot we didn’t want why not apply that amount to the lot we did want and we would pay the balance of $2K.  I felt this was a fair compromise.  Mike said he had to talk to his manager.  So we waited.  A week went by and so did our deadline to hear from Mike.  I called and finally reached Mike.  I told him how disappointed we were with our experience and that it had taken such a bad turn.  I pointed out that he never called us like he said he would.  He then tried to tell me that he was wrong about the premium price for the lot we wanted and that it would be an extra $20,000 if we wanted the lot.  I told him flat out no and we would be cancelling our contract.  I was ready to walk.  We had had enough.  This was a very difficult decision to come to because my wife was now emotionally invested in this home.  She already saw us raising our family there.  If I didn’t do something we would be taken advantage of.  “Understanding the impact of reputation on future negotiations can help managers select the appropriate trade-offs between choosing tactics this time and developing their reputations in the future” (Hoch & Kunreuther, 2001, p. 186).  I marched into the office on the following business day with a typed letter of cancellation and requested our deposit back.  The other sales person was in the office (Mike’s mother passed and he left for TX).  She apologized for what was happening and understood why we were so upset.  Miraculously, now that I had a letter of cancellation in my hand, she was able to reach her manager (which Mike said he was unable to do, the manager had to approve the terms).  She said they needed one more day.  We would have a decision by 3PM the next day.  The manager honored the original $7K premium price, applied the $5K to our new lot and we paid the difference.  Everybody was happy.  

What this experience taught me was to have everything in writing.  After we started to have difficulties with Mike I refused to speak with him over the phone.  I explained that I preferred to have all our communications in writing moving forward.  Liddle (2013) wrote “You’ll never know when or if you will need to dig in those files, but just to be sure, secure these documents.  Words uttered can never be taken back, but what is in writing will always be something to look back on if needed” (para. 4).  We still had to work with Mike so we kept everything professional.  Things sort of fell into place once we learned his mom had passed.  It turns out she had been in failing health and the stress was affecting his work.  We did not hold this against him.  You never know what is happening in people’s lives, so another take away from this experience was not to pass judgment so soon on others.  You never know what they might be going through.  It all worked out in the end and we got our dream home.  Negotiating can be difficult but if you are willing to do the work, be prepared, and not afraid to walk away, you can be successful and gain valuable experience in negotiating.

Hoch, S. J., & Kunreuther, H. C. (2005). Wharton on making decisions. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons Inc.

Liddle, J. (2013). Always get EVERYTHING in Writing! - Startup Daily. Retrieved from http://www.startupdaily.net/2013/01/always-get-everything-in-writing/  

A632.3.4.RB_DiazBrian

Distance learning has its challenges.  More often than not we never see the faces of the people in our classes or get to meet them in a traditional sense.  With electronic communication it is difficult to get a sense for what someone is writing behind a keyboard or phone.  It is easy to misinterpret one another if we “misread” the intentions behind someone’s words.  One thing I struggled with when I began this program was working in teams.  The reason being was that I was making assumptions about my team members before I even gave myself the opportunity to get to know them or for them to prove themselves.  What I had to do was take a step back and that’s when I realized that I was actually doing this on a consistent basis whenever I met someone new.  I came to the conclusion that my assumptions were not only unfounded but unfair.  Hoch & Kunreuther (2001) wrote “The mechanism by which frames exert their influence on our thinking are complex and only partly understood.  Nonetheless, their efforts are clearly visible in the form of well-documented mental traps” (p. 137).  I was guilty of frame blindness because I was not conscious of the fact that I was assigning conjecture on others before getting to know them.  By doing so I realized I was being hypocritical.  I know what it’s like to be judged for the color of my skin or the texture of my hair.  I had to deal with it as a child when I first came to Florida in the early 80’s.  At that time there was a very small Hispanic culture here.  I wasn’t naïve as to why I was being left out by other kids when it came to socializing and fitting into to the “in crowd”.  I thought about this and really felt bad about the frame I was using when meeting new people.  I treat everyone with respect first and foremost, that is a value I have always had.  However, now I don’t bring any preconceived ideas to the table when I see or encounter someone new.  I think about how it made the 8 year old me and it has changed my outlook on others.  Funny how when you look at things from a different perspective you can gain a new outlook.  I treat everyone as an open book now and let my experiences with them write our story.  This is now how I perceive others, not based on a single frame.

I’m not certain why critical thinking was not emphasized more in my earlier education.  Until I started my Master’s I can’t honestly say I used critical thinking effective and to my advantage.  When I first started to work as an academic advisor I made mistakes.  I was able to learn from these mistakes and use them as learning opportunities.  My director actually called me to her office one day to discuss a mistake she noticed I made.  This mistake caused a student to take a class he didn’t need for his degree program.  He self-enrolled in a course and I confirmed his enrollment without checking to see if it applied to his degree program.  I wasn’t asking any questions, I just trusted he knew what he was doing.  My director helped me to identify and change my inadequate frames.  She challenged me to question my frames.  Was I doing my job as effectively as possible?  Was I using the right frames to resolve issues I was facing?  Was I generating solutions with my frames?  The answer to all of these were no.  Luckily for me, my director was not a manager, she was a leader.  She used this instance as a learning experience for me and did not make feel bad about what happened.  She explained to me the importance of being thorough and not to be afraid to ask questions.  This was one of the first times anyone had ever taken the time to teach me rather than manage me.  Gallo (2010) wrote “Mistakes play a critical role in leadership development. ‘The best kind of mistake is where the costs are low but the learning is high,’ Schoemaker says. If the error was a result of a poor decision, explain to your boss and other interested parties how you will avoid making the same or a similar misstep in the future” (para. 6).  I experimented with my frames and devised a new process of improving my responsibilities.  I grew from this experience and was able to learn a valuable lesson at the same time.

I have a love hate relationship with technology.  There is so much information at our fingertips today that it can be hard to remain focused sometimes for any length of time.  I am constantly looking for new information and ways to improve.  On Twitter I follow sites such as Fortune Magazine, Forbes, Inc., and the Wall Street Journal.  All of these accounts offer great articles on leadership and management.  I love reading about all of the different perspectives, from different backgrounds, and different environments.  It has been a great help for me to learn to use multiple frames.  “Once you have surfaced your frames and identified potential weaknesses, you need to develop the capacity to synthesize and create new frames” (Hoch & Kunreuther, 2001, p. 148).  By observing the frames of others, I have been able to incorporate ideas I never would have considered in order to challenge myself to grow.

 

I want to challenge myself to use more resources other than online to gain new perspectives.  I really enjoy going to libraries, yet I hardly ever do it now.  At UCF, it was my favorite place on campus.  I am really busy what seems like 24-7 but I would also like to make more time for networking.  I am now working as an instructional designer for the university.  But here’s the thing.  I don’t have any instructional design background.  I also didn’t have any advising or paralegal background when I was in those fields yet I learned from being on the job.  I challenged myself.  I worked at being good at what I was doing.  It will be no different in my new position.  I have learned that there are framing traps which I can overcome.  I have learned that it is possible to avoid those traps.  The only constant is change.  My frames should be no exception.  Evolving and to striving to become better in everything I do is my own personal challenge.   We should all constantly challenge ourselves.  Stepping out of our comfort zones and being willing to take risks are what separates good leaders from great ones!

Gallo, A. (2010). You've Made A Mistake. Now What? Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2010/04/youve-made-a-mistake-now-what/

Hoch, S. J., & Kunreuther, H. C. (2005). Wharton on making decisions. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons Inc.